The only constant in my life WAS change. It always seemed like everybody around me knew what they wanted in life, where they wanted to go, what they wanted to do, and how they wanted to spend their time. I, on the other hand, was always undecided. I would commonly mistake the things that I was good at to be things that I loved, and the things that I loved to be things that I was good at. But when you excel at something, does that necessarily mean that you would enjoy doing it for the rest of your life? And when you love something, does that always mean that you are great at it? I have spent most of my life trying to distinguish the fine line between the two.
The constant struggle between my strong points and my desires altered the directional path of my life more than just a few times. The Peter J. Tobin Business School in St. John’s University was my starting point, where my journey began. I excelled in economics; the theory of supply and demand fascinated me, opening my mind to a whole new way of thinking. Microeconomics was second nature to me; I knew the answer to every question, and could explain the reverse devil’s avocet situation without even thinking. I couldn't wait for my next business law class—Nixon vs. Watergate, Hamdi vs. Rumsfeld, Elk Grove Unified School District vs. Newdow, FCC vs. Fox. With each case, I found myself aching for more information. With uncovering the parts of law, I had simultaneously uncovered parts of myself. Business had then seemed as if it was my sole future, but did I love it? Or was it more complicated than that?
I was great at what I was doing, but still I felt as if something was missing. There was a void in me that yearned to be filled. I sought to take on a new challenge—language. Having prior experience in Italian, I took a placement test and placed on the intermediate level. I absolutely loved Italian. It was something that I understood, much like economics, I could break it down, dissect it, put it back together and in the end it always made sense. Every test I took, I surpassed my expectations and eventually received the Phillip Perfetto Award for outstanding achievement by the Italian Society. I soon began to question my major and debated switching to the Liberal Arts School to focus on Italian.
Balancing two majors was difficult, especially when I got to the point of having my classes taught in Italian. I found myself struggling to speak. I understood everything being said to me and could hand write a response but lacked the confidence to verbally respond in Italian. It was extremely frustrating and caused me to, yet again, have doubts about my future. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I had excelled in areas that didn't fulfill me and I had loved a field where I was stuck in what seemed like to be a hopeless conundrum.
I needed a new constant. I began to realize that it wasn't the courses themselves that intrigued me, it was the way the new material had affected my way of thinking. I have a need to expand my mind and think outside of the box. I have a passion for language and understanding the mechanical theories that lie beneath. I had found that throughout my journey, there was a path that I have been taking all along but failed to see. Court Reporting has been my map, unraveling the intertwining paths that I have formed along the way into a clear-cut road map to success. Fusing theory with law and language, Court Reporting, has become my new constant.
Nicole Crisano
2014
